Yaoi in the Chocolate Factory
by TheQuirkClerk
Summary: Mello finds a golden ticket. He has no parents, so who does he bring along instead? Our favorite Wammy boys head off to the chocolate factory run by the mysterious man known only as "L". MattxMello, LxLight on the side Rated T for now, but may go up. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Hey, y'all. I've seen two DN/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossovers. Only one had Mello in it, and it wasn't even focused on him. Don't get me wrong, they were both great, but really...Chocolate Factory...Mello... It's just too amazing of a possibility to pass up. Anyway, this is going to be a multi-chaptered fic featuring MattxMello, possibly the most cannon pairing without actually being cannon. The rating may go up eventually for this, depending on what my darling readers desire. If you want it, I'll do it. I am here to please you :)

Disclaimer: I own neither Death Note nor Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I also do not own any of the video games I may mention in here or the chocolate brands. I don't own Megatron either.

**Chapter One: Blackmail**

Soft, sack padded footsteps shuffled down the hallway, stopping every so often, each pause marked by a quiet creak.

Matt sighed, closing what felt like the thousandth dorm room door, and moved farther down the hall. Where the hell could it be? He had been through six fucking floors already and he _still _couldn't find it. It was starting to get on his nerves, actually. _It's just a game _he told himself, _A level I have to beat._

And it was one of those fucking annoying levels. The ones that took _forever_ and were most likely to be accidentally deleted upon completion.

And it was late...or rather early morning, and Matt wanted nothing more than to lounge around his room playing Mario Kart and drinking Redbull. But _no_, he couldn't go back without it; not unless he wanted his ass kicked.

He stopped before the last door on that floor, looking warily at the knob before silently extending a hand, twisting it open and pushing into the room in one fluid motion.

Score! HP points for Matt!

Grinning to himself, Matt crept forward, eyes locked onto the tuft of white hair that was visible beneath a pile of blankets heaped onto the bed in the center of the room. He'd better be asleep...if he had gone through all that work just to find that the little bastard was awake...He shuddered. His anger would be matched only by Mello's.

He raked through the mess with his eyes, searching for his target. Yes...there he was; and asleep, thank God.

Now attempting to hold back the yell of triumph building inside of his throat, Matt snatched up his prize and backed away from the bed, holding it tightly in his arms.

He let out a quiet hiss of both relief and excitement, eying the figure happily. He had his hostage, now to collect the bounty...

"Near." He whispered, poking the boy on the shoulder.

No movement...damn...He'd thought Near would be a light sleeper...guess not...

"Near." He tried again, voice escalating to a loud whisper. Matt grit his teeth in frustration, hands clamped tightly around Megatron. He couldn't talk much louder or he would wake Roger.

"Near!"

The younger boy rolled over onto his back, blinking into the darkness as he tried to discern the intruder.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." Matt greeted, grinning widely as the boy genius got a grip on the situation. A small sigh of annoyance could be heard as Near recognized the intruder.

"Matthew, I do not wish to play games with you this..._morning." _He stated in his usual monotonous tone, glancing at the small digital clock that rested on his bedside table. "What is it that you want?"

Matt, grinning like a jack-o-lantern, held up his hostage for Near to see. A Megatron doll, at least three feet tall and made entirely of plastic. Matt had no idea how Near could sleep with the thing without rolling over it and either breaking it or acquiring a nice set of bruises from the hard plastic.

"A trade, actually." He said casually, being sure to stay at least an arms length away from the other boy, in case he tried to snatch back his toy. There was no way he was going to let _anything _go wrong with his plan. He had actually put _effort _into it.

Near's eyes narrowed as he recognized Matt's captive. "Matthew," He said, managing to make his voice threatening, yet still sound calm and deathly boring, "Give him back."

The gamer snorted amusedly. _Him? "_I wasn't aware hunks of plastic had sexes, Near."

Now he was just toying with him. It felt _great; _being able to be superior to Near in something was immensely satisfying. Perhaps he should have taken Mello with him; it might have been a bit of a self-esteem raiser for his blonde friend.

"I fully intend to inform Roger of this if you do not return him immediately." Near pressed, ignoring Matt's snide comment. "And I will absolutely not even _consider _making any kind of deal with you, Matthew. You are one of the least trustworthy people I have ever met, and I highly doubt that you would hold up your end of the bargain. Not that I would agree to anything in the first place."

Matt's grin grew wider, and a bit of moonlight reflected off of his orange-tinted goggles, further impressing his jack-o-lantern-like appearance. "Really? Because I was under the impression you would want _him _back."

Near smiled coldly, "You are supposed to be the third smartest child here, Matthew. Possibly the third smartest child in the entire world, yet you say these idiotic things that clearly make no sense. I could simply inform Roger that you have unlawfully taken one of my possessions and he will make you return him with no ridiculous bargains or deals."

_Shit..._Matt had been so sure this was going to work out without any problems. He really didn't want to have to use his backup plan. Though it looked like he had no choice.

With a rather over-exaggerated movement, Matt pulled a tiny, red object from his pocket, sitting down besides Near and holding it up, being sure to keep Megatron out of his reach.

Near observed the proffered object carefully, raising a slightly disapproving eyebrow, "A video camera, Matthew? Do you honestly think you can blackmail me? I know for a fact that you have no recordings of me at all."

The gamer did not respond. Instead, he flipped open the view-screen of the camera, holding it up so Near could see.

"Matthe-" Near was cut off by the sound of his own voice clearly emanating from the camera.

"Megatron..." Came the voice, breathy and slightly strained. Near leaned over almost fearfully, peering at the screen. It was...himself. He was tossing about his bed, panting slightly and plainly calling for "Megatron". Embarrassment flooded through him, and he looked fearfully up at the redhead above him. Blackmail? That was so...low...so_ Matt-like._

Matt closed the view screen with a satisfied, yet slightly disgusted snap. "I have no footage of you that you are aware of, Near. A true genius should think of the unexpected when making a claim."

_Ha! Take that you albino freak! I said something purposefully intelligent!_

Near opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then finally climbed out of bed, glaring pointedly at Matt. "Fine, Matthew. How much do you want?"

Matt thought about it for a moment. "About a box should do it." He answered cheerfully. Mello _did _go through a lot, though he had no admit, it was nice to order Near around like that. Sometimes he created a Near!Sim just to torture it, but real life was_ much _better.

Said boy protested in vain for a moment before giving a resigned sigh and rummaging around in in his bedside table drawer. After a moment, he pulled out a small card key; the only way to access the food pantry.

Upon seeing the card, Matt felt a twinge of jealousy. His had been confiscated from him, by Roger when the old man found out that he was nicking chocolate for Mello. That meant that not only was he unable to get chocolate for his blonde, but he was unable to get snacks for himself without Roger's permission, supervision and snack-choice approval_. _Which meant he was on a _diet_. Just thinking about the word made him feel sick... How did Roger expect him to function properly without sugar? It wasn't like he ever got a suitable night's sleep.

Matt watched as Near slipped out of the room and into the hallway. He sure hoped he wouldn't get caught. Not that he would get in trouble for it; Near would never tell Roger the truth in fear of the Megatron video being broadcast to the entire orphanage. However, that chocolate was _very _important to Matt; his Mello needed it. If Mello wasn't happy, then Matt wasn't happy (unless of course Mello was simply bitchy, which was often the case. If Matt was unhappy whenever Mello was bitchy, it would just be..._bad_)

He sighed, then leaned against the headboard of the bed to wait for Near to return. Everything had gone smoothly, but there was something that was bothering him.

That footage of Near wasn't actually real; Matt had ghosted him onto that screen. He had expected to simply tell Near that if he didn't get the chocolate he would show his created video...but the way that Near had acted...he acted like he had actually thought it was real...meaning...

Matt felt his stomach turn and he dashed into Near's bathroom, face turning green.

_Disgusting, simply disgusting._

_A/N That didn't really turn out as well as I had hoped, unfortunately. But I promise the next chapter will be better. Comments or suggestions make me happy. Review? _


	2. I Can't See

Look! I updated! Wow...that was really fast for me. I'm trying to get the chapters for this up faster, so you should expect a new one every week. Feel free to send monkeys after me if go too slowly. Thank you so much for all of the reviews-you guys are awesome. Please continue to review; they keep me updating regularly. Even a simple "Liked the chapter" or "update soon" makes me beyond happy. Enjoy the chappy, folks!

-Puppet 3

**Chapter Two: I Can't See**

Matt kicked open the door to his dorm, a massive box of chocolate held tightly in his arms. It had taken Near forever, but he finally had his prize and was more than ready to go to bed.

"Mel?" He called into the darkness of the room, squinting as he tried to make out the location of his best friend. Damn eyesight. At least he had his gloggles; he was nearly blind without them.

Matt blinked, eyes adjusting to the blackness of the room. He could almost see through the gloom when something hard struck him in the back of the head, knocking his almost-vision from his head.

The box of chocolate hit the floor with a loud THUMP, the bars spilling all over the floor. Matt heard scuffling and soft cursing for a moment before the lights flicked on, revealing a sleep-deprived blonde.

He was a mess; hair sticking up all over the place, his usually piercing eyes glazed and slightly twitchy. He looked almost comical in black boxers, his rosary, and nothing more.

However, ALMOST was the key word in this statement.

The bitchy-ness radiating off of Mello was enough to counter his chocolate-deprivation-induced looks. Matt flinched slightly as he approached him, looking pissy enough to just about _eat _Matt. In his hand was a Math textbook; the voluminous bundle of pages held like one would hold a nightstick. This was obviously the thing that had hit his head, and Matt was in no hurry to repeat the incident.

He grinned at Mello, picking up a bar of chocolate, hoping for all he was worth the chocolate was going to stop the practically PMSing blonde.

"Matt," he was saying, "Where the _fuck _were you!? I thought I was going to have to make up some lame-ass excuses for R-" He stopped short, eyes falling on the chocolate in Matt's hands.

Eyes widening, he let out an almost feral snarl, snatching the bar from the gamer's hands. He ripped the chocolate from it's wrapper and bit into it, snapping off a large chunk.

Matt smirked, now sure he was free from Mello's wrath. It was cute, almost. The way he was so dependent on the sweet. He waited until Mello had finished off the chocolate bar, which was a mere matter of seconds, before speaking.

"Aw, come on Mello." He said, making puppy dog eyes, "You could at least appreciate the fact that I risked Roger for those chocolate bars..." Mello rolled his eyes, smacking the redhead on the back of the head. "Dumbass..." he muttered, trying to hide a small smirk.

Matt just gave him another of his crazy grins and flopped down onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling at the Kirby and Link posters he had tacked to the wall. Mello sat down next to him, munching another bar.

"How did you get these?" He asked curiously, leaning back on the headboard, "I thought Roger took your card away."

Matt smirked. "Remember the footage of him I ghosted? The one with Megatron?"

Mello nodded, looking curiously at his friend. "Yes..." He had a bad feeling about this...

Matt gave him another impish smile, "Blackmail!" He stated happily,choking back a yawn. Mello sighed, "You know, he's gonna figure out some way to get you back for this..." He prodded Matt in the stomach, scowling. "Don't expect me to help you if he does."

The redhead just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, Mel. Near doesn't seem the revenge type to me." He pulled his goggles off and tugged the covers over himself, not bothering to change out of his typical jeans and long-sleeved shirt. Mello eyed his sleeping figure for a moment before giving him a little shove, muttering, "Night, Matt."

Matt yawned again, closing his eyes. "Whatever," He mumbled sleepily, "G'night..."

... ...

Matt tossed in his bed, flopping this way and that, the covers twisted haphazardly around his body. "N-no..." He muttered, turning over again.

_Matt dashed onto a narrow alley, sweat stinging his eyes and face. Behind him, he could hear footsteps; loud, earth-shaking crashes that sounded more like thunder than feet. "STOP!!" He shouted, barely able to choke out the word between pants. _

_A cold, high laugh reached his ears. "Ah...Matthew...don't be foolish. You are only wasting breath." The laugh came again and the footsteps stopped. Matt had reached a dead end._

_Matt turned, craning his neck to look at the figure above him. "Eh...hey, Near. N-no hard feelings, right?" He asked sheepishly, cringing slightly._

_Near laughed again, looking down upon Matt from his perch upon Megatron's shoulder. The albino gave Matt a small, creepy smile, pulling a video camera from his pocket. "Matthew, you should have listened to Mello...I WILL have my revenge." He pushed the tape into a what looked like a small crevice on Megatron's shoulder and his a piece suddenly fell away from the transformer's chest, revealing a huge television. The screen flickered for a moment, before an image appeared on screen. It remained frozen for a minute before beginning to move. At first, Matt squinted at the screen, trying to see. Then, the screen came into focus._

_It was Matt._

_He twisted and turned on screen, face flushed. Loud pants issued from speakers on Megatron's sides, echoing throughout the alley._

_"M-Mello..." The on-screen Matt moaned, back arching slightly._

_The real Matt's eyes widened, face turning a furious red. _

_"C-cut it out Near." He screamed. "It...it's not true..."_

_Near's laughter echoed with the panting and moaning, "Ah, but Matthew, you forget...I can't ghost."_

Matt screamed, tossing wildly, thrashing as the dream-Near taunted him. "NOOO! IT'S NOT TR-"

"MATT!"

The redhead jolted into a sitting position as, for the third time that night, he was struck in the back of the head.

"IT'S NOT TRUE! I DON-" He stopped, blinking confusedly. "Eh...oh."

Mello stood over him, glaring daggers. "Good morning, Motherfucking Sunshine. I've been trying to wake you up for the past fifteen fucking minutes."

Matt blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend his current situation. "Oh...yeah...is it it time for class?" He turned groggily towards the window, face going from tired and slightly apologetic to angry. "What the fuck? Mel, it's not even light out yet!" He flopped back onto his back and pulled a pillow over his head, ready to return to his sleep, hopefully without dreams this time. However, he was greeted with not sleep, but yet another solid hit to the head.

He sat up again, "WHAT D-"

Mello shoved something beneath into Matt's hands, a small, golden piece of paper.

"Read it, dumbass." Mello ordered. There was something odd about his tone...though his words were harsh, as usual, there was something in his voice that Matt could hear. Could it be...Exitement?

Matt squinted down at the paper, struggling to see without his goggles. The letters were fuzzy and unfocused. "Wild...women..." He paused, "Mello? What the fuck? Strippers?!"

Mello sighed, hardly able to contain his excitement. "WILLY WONKA'S CHOCOLATE FACTORY!" He shouted. "Fuck, Matt! I found a golden ticket!"

(A/N) So? Whatcha think? We finally begin to see a plot here :) I hope you guys like it...the next chapter should be coming out soon. If I get enough reviews, I might even have it up by Monday.


	3. The Golden Ticket

OH MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY THAT LOOK SO LONG! I've been pretty busy for the past few days, I actually have friends now, so I can DO things over the summer :D

Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I give y'all virtual hugs. Enjoy the chapter!

-Puppet

And...eh...I don't own Snorlax -.-

** The Golden Ticket**

Matt stared dumbly at Mello, blinking forcefully as his sleep-deprived brain tried to process the information being shoved into it. "No...strippers?" He asked slowly, his face going from confused to worried. "But the ticket says-"

"No strippers, dumbass..." Mello muttered, snatching the ticket from Matt's grasp. "It SAYS I get to visit the chocolate factory!" He paused, looking expectantly at Matt. When no gasping or shouts of joys occurred, he repeated, more loudly this time, as if Matt had lost his ability to hear unless the speaker was an inch away and loud enough to wake a sleeping Snorlax. "THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, MATT! I GET TO VISIT THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!"

And, finally, it clicked.

"HOLY SHIT, MELLO!" Matt gasped, tumbling out of bed as he reached wildly behind him for the gloggles lying on his bedside table. Barely managing to snap them onto his face, he pulled Mello down onto his bed (A/N ...stop that. I know what you're thinking. Not until LATER) so he could see it more closely.

He flipped on a light, and he and Mello examined the ticket together. It was roughly the size of the chocolate bar it had been packaged with, made of a thin foil that was a brilliant, shiny, shimmering gold. Small but elegant script adorned the front of it, and Matt and Mello leaned over it, reading.

** _Congratulations to the Lucky Finder_**

_Greetings to you, _the lucky finder of this golden ticket, from Mister Willy Wonka! I shake you warmly by the hand! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! For now I do invite you to come to my factory and be my guest for one whole day-you and all the others who are lucky enough to find my golden tickets. I, Willy Wonka, will conduct you around the factory myself, showing you everything that there is to see, and afterwards, when it is time to leave, you will be escorted home by a procession of large trucks. These trucks, I can promise you, will be loaded with enough delicious eatables to last you and your entire household for many years. If, anytime thereafter, you should run oput of supplies, you have only to come back to the factory and show this Golden Ticket, and I shall be happy to refill your cupboard with whatever you want. In this way, you will be able to keep yourself supplied with tasty morsels for the rest of your life. But this is by no means the most exiting thing that will happen on the day of your visit. I am preparing other suprises that are even more marvelous and more fantastic for all my beloved Golden Ticket holders- mystic and marvelous surprises that will entrance, delight, intrigue, astonish, and perplex you beyond measure. In your wildest dreams you could not imagine that suck things could happen to you! Just wait and see! And now, here are your instructions: The day I have chosen for the visit is the first day in the month of February. On this day, and on no other, you must come to the factory gates at ten o' clock sharp in the morning. Do not be late! And you are allowed to bring one or two of your own family to look after you and to ensure that you don't get into mischief. One more thing- you will be certain to have this ticket with you, otherwise you will not be admitted.

(Signed) Willy Wonka

Matt blinked, processing the information slowly through his brain. "Wow..." He whispered quietly, eyes fixed wide on the ticket. "A _lifetime _supply of chocolate..." That would last Mello..._forever! _Never again would Matt have to be used as a living chocolate dispenser! Grinning widely, he turned to Mello, prepared to see the blonde drooling over himself in anticipating of everlasting amount of chocolate.

Mello had fallen forward onto Matt's bed and was now snoring softly, drooling not over chocolate but in extreme sleepiness. He was barely on the bed, most of his body hanging over the side. Now that the light was on, Matt could see the dark circles that underlined his eyes and the wariness that lined his face. Matt normally would have kicked Mello onto his own bed, but...the poor boy had pulled several all nighters without his chocolate, and Matt supposed that Mello being able to fall asleep right after being guaranteed a lifetime supply of the stuff definitely hinted that Mello just _maybe_ deserved a little sympathy.

The redhead pulled Mello all the way onto the bed and tugged the covers over him, making sure he was blanketed past his shoulders. For a moment, he watched Mello sleep, eyes following the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He was so...uncharacteristically calm in his sleep. A small smile even graced his lips.

Matt couldn't help a small smile from spreading over his own face as he watched his closest friend in his only apparent non-violent state.

He lay down beside the blonde with a sigh, settling down into the covers, ready to sleep soundly for the first time that night.

He was just about to drift into unconsciousness when Mello's foot caught him in his side, sending him flying off of the bed, landing with a none-too-comfortable 'oomph' on the hard, wooden floor.

Matt scowled. Non-violent indeed...

The next day dawned brightly upon the particularly heartwarming, cheerful scene of Matt curled up on the hardwood floor, dressed only in his boxers, shivering violently in his sleep. After be violently ejected from his own bed, Mello had sprawled himself over the entire bed, making it impossible for Matt to get back in without lying on top of him. He _could _have slept in Mello's bed, but he was too afraid of what might be lurking there, between the covers and mattress, waiting to attack. No...he didn't trust Mello's bed one bit.

With a slight shudder, he pushed himself up off of the floor, stiff with cold. He eyed Mello for a moment, silently debating whether or not to wake him. It was early...too early for him to have to wake up. Still, Matt was tempted to wake him simply to get revenge for being booted from his bed. However, compassion won him over, and he decided to wake him up after he showered...he needed his sleep, especially today. Matt grinned to himself as he headed towards the bathroom, stopping at the calender to change it to the next month: February.

A/N: FLUFF :D It makes me so happy :3 And I hope the calender thing made sense...the even is the first of February...yeah. If it was confusing, I apologize.

I'm really, REALLY sorry this took so long. I was in West Virginia with my church. Yes...I am, in fact, religious. Christian, actually (gasp!). Just a very open-minded one XD Updates should be coming sooner now though, MUCH sooner. And you know what would make me update faster? Well...you see that little button in the corner of the screen? If you don't click it, Mello will kick you off of your bed and claim it as his own. Much love to those who already reviewed, and just so you know, I WILL be replying to them from now on.


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